made it past day 3, it’s the start of day 4. i think i like fasting cause it’s so much simpler than restricting, no math needed at all, just a few lies to get away with skipping meals. feeling pretty shit, but that’s the game, isn’t it?

not eating for a week until i see my therapist next. i need her to take me seriously

my ex has had two girlfriends since me. i want her back. it’s been over a year and i still love her. i hate that. and i keep putting off telling her how i feel because i know i’ll be rejected. i just MISS her. 

it’s sort of pathetic that i take EVERY SINGLE ASSIGNMENT SUPER SERIOUSLY. i wish i was a normal student that could choose what battles to fight as they work through school

i’m definitely having a panic attack right now it’s sort of making me want to die

anyone need to vent?

also i’m so excited because my tumblr crush messaged me that she wants to meet :3

i just went on crisis chat and the fucking lady hung up on me.. wtf

I always read through this blog when I want to remember how much it was not fun to be sick. It’s kind of amazing how different my life is now than it was when I was 16 and not 19, but even now, even as it’s been almost 4 years since I started battling with anorexia, it’s still tempting not to eat tomorrow because I ate a lot today. I still often feel like a child. 

My friends once said “what’s the point of masturbating? If you feel the need to be sexual just be sexual with someone!” LIKE SORRY THAT I DON’T HAVE A BOYFRIEND GUYS.

Masturbating is just great sometimes, even though it’s a habit I wish I could break

A message from Anonymous
My mother was talking to my sister about why she wanted to sell her car, sister told her that she was doing it for paying up the bills. Mom told her she would never talk to her if she did that.I messed it all up. Shouted at mom and told her she's not my mom anymore. Mom thought my sister provoked me. Sister left home. Dad got stressed, had to be hospitalised . Everyone at home hates me!

I don’t think anyone has posted on this blog in ages.

But I’m doing pretty well right now. 

Getting my life in order and such.

well my mum talked to me for ages after I got out of the shower, I was a little calmer cause I had just finished crying my eyes out. But I’m feeling a little better now. My heart is still dangerously heavy and I feel sick but a little better…

oh my god, my mum and dad were yelling and I ran downstairs and my dad was about to hit her. i knew they were divorcing but my mum just told me why and it’s because my dad’s been cheating on her with her best friend for two years and she heard them on the phone and oh my god i burst out crying and my mum hugged me and told me not to worry about it but i came up and cut myself, which I hadn’t don’t since january last year and I can’t stop crying now i feel sick to my stomach